How to Place Your Order for the Ideal Man

VeryUnmarried welcomes its newest dating and relationship contributor, Nekisha Michelle-Agboola 

Yes, I am ready to place my order; I’ll have the fried tilapia dinner fried extra crunchy with macaroni & cheese and Cole slaw for my side orders.  I want Sunshine Lemonade to drink with light ice and for dessert please add some homemade graham cracker crust apple pie.  The attendant rings up your order and repeats it back to you…you verbally say yes my order is correct.  The attendant then says your order will come to $14.50.  You pull out the money hand her a $20.00 bill, she gives you your change and says your order will be ready in 15 minutes.

That was such a simple task of ordering your favorite food, but do you realize that ordering the ideal man uses the same process and is really that simple. So why are some single women saying,  “I can’t find a good man?” Going on date after date only to feel frustrated and sometimes rejected because you have high expectations that this could be the one, but 10-15 minutes into the date you realize it was a complete waste of time.

I know from experience that feeling all too well, going through the motions of putting on your best outfit, getting your hair fried, died and laid to the side.  Adorning your face with your best cosmetics and you even stopped by the car washed to make sure everything about you gives the impression of being flawless. All that for a date that ended before it began.

So what’s the issue? Why are you not able to get the type of man that you fantasize about in your head? I am going to take the guess work out and tell you my sister that you are not using the ideal man ordering process.  You don’t know how to place your order for the ideal man, but  I am going to be generous and tell you the 4 hidden secrets to placing your order.


1.  Make a decision that you are ready for love, and you will release the sabotaging language and actions that repel the ideal men from being attracted to you. Sabotaging language is when you say things like, “no matter what I do I keep attracting all the jerks.” Because what you say is what you get!


2.  Evolve your language and passion to articulate what you like and stop rehearsing what you don’t like. Have you noticed that when you place your order for your favorite food, you don’t discuss what you don’t want. You only talk about the items you want and you share how you want it.  The same with placing your order for the ideal man. Only talk about the qualities and aspects your desire in a mate. Example of evolving language is instead of saying, “I want a man who is kind and smart,” you would say, “I want a man who  considers my thoughts and opinions first, and after hearing what I say, knows how to make a wise judgment that I can easily respect.”

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