Dating After Divorce

#4 Don’t give yourself a time period. PERIOD.

The very moment you add an expiration date to your search is the moment you may end up regretting for a long time.

I have met so many divorcées in my matchmaker lifetime who have said that they wanted to be married or in a relationship in “one year;” “next fall;” “2014.” Dating does not have a shelf life and neither do you. You will not expire if you don’t meet and marry the man or woman of your dreams by next year. Plus, what happens if you don’t meet that deadline? It will make you feel more lonely and more depressed about dating, so why do it in the first place!

I have to admit, giving yourself a cutoff date reads a bit desperate. What will happen is you will begin choosing and dating men and women for the wrong reasons. “She doesn’t want children, but we’re discussing marriage!” “He’s been married four times, but he really is sweet.” You are grossly limiting yourself.

When dating after a long hiatus, it is crucial to let nature take its natural course. You may not meet “him” on the first 5 dates; you may not on the 10th, but what’s important is that you don’t give up and focus more on making friends then finding a husband or wife.

#5 Leave the expectations at home

Dating after divorce can be fun and exciting as long as you keep your expectations to a minimum. Many crack under the pressure once they realize that what they are looking for is harder to find than expected.

I have said this once before – I am sure, but there is a reason why the game of love is called a game. Either you are on the winning side or the losing, but you always have a choice. You can win by choosing to expect the unexpected and look at dating as the adventure it is, or you can lose by putting too much pressure on yourself and the experience.

Step back. Relax. It’s going to be okay. Many who have divorced have gone on to remarry. Don’t rush the process and milk it for all it’s worth, because once  you meet your new love, you’ll have to give up some of the new “friends”  you made.

Enjoy articles by Jasmine Diaz? Watch her daily advice show The Daily Very on VeryUnmarried.com Monday,  July 15th and submit your questions now: experts@veryunmarried.com and be sure to tweet us @VeryUnmarried with the hashtag #TheDailyVery

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