Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez: Love + Learn

 

If there is anything I have learned about Jennifer Lopez over the years is that she loves to be loved, and this self-professed hopeless romantic is quickly launching towards yet another marriage.

Numerous reports have circulated that Alex and Jennifer’s relationship is getting “serious.” However, I wouldn’t be who I am if I didn’t at least share my thoughts, because the truth is, I want Jennifer to be happy!

Thought #1: Unlike other stars I have witnessed, Jennifer is far too public with her romantic relationships. She’s on the red carpet with her guy, posting on social media, discussing who she’s seeing with the press. She should be like Kerry Washington and keep her personal life completely private.

There is a reason why you don’t tell your friends all of your relationship business. Because as soon as you do, it gives them license to have input on a relationship they truly know nothing about. Soon you’ll find your girlfriends telling you what to do and how to feel, but it’s not their relationship. It’s yours.

Jennifer would be wise to truly privatize her private life. Stop the social media shenanigans. We don’t need to know you’re in the Bahamas hugged up on the beach! We don’t need to know who she is dating and why, because no one loves JLo for who she dates. We love her because she’s a rock star!

Thought #2: Jennifer needs to consider what she needs from her partner to be happy in a relationship. The romantic getaways and fancy restaurants are great (because what girl doesn’t love that), but she can do all of those things on her own. She is JLo after all!

Your wants (think about that long list you probably have) for a partner is like junk food. That pizza, ice cream and chips are so delicious in the moment, but it’s not enough to keep you full. What keeps you full in a relationship is the satisfaction from your needs being met. When your partner is hitting that need sweet spot and filling you up on hearty, soul-satisfying love and support, you shine brighter. There’s a bounce in your step, and your relationship has room to grow in a healthy and mature way.

I believe the hopeless romantic in Jennifer tends to give way for that relationship junk food, but she’s deserving of so much more.

Thought #3: Jennifer needs to slow down! She goes from dating to engagement/marriage in what seems like 0-60 seconds. When you move quickly in a relationship, you tend to miss out on yellow and red flags, while only considering the green. Instead of rushing through the stages of a relationship, she should take a pause. Learn from the mistakes of the past and make a conscious decision to date differently.

Many singles date by the definition of insanity. They do the same thing over and over again (or date the same type over and over again) expecting a different result! But if we take a look at Jennifer’s relationship numbers, she hasn’t fared as well as she probably could have. That’s not to say that the fault lies squarely on her. These are grown, fully capable men we’re talking about.

I would love to see her in a relationship with a great guy, but not at the expense of her long-term happiness.

xo

Jasmine Diaz

Jasmine Diaz

Dating Strategist & Blogger, VeryUnmarried

Jasmine Diaz is a celebrity matchmaker and dating strategist with over 15 years experience helping singles nationwide. She has been featured in Huffington Post, NY Post, Marie Claire, Men's Fitness, Brides, Refinery 29, Yahoo!, MTV, OWN, Bravo, VH1, ESSENCE, Ebony and Latina Magazines.

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