Dating for Dummies: How to Meet Great People

Some of you think you’re great at dating, but the truth is, you suck! Like most of us, you’ve learned through trial and error, and if you were honest without yourself you’d probably say you’ve errored…a lot.

So what do you do when you’re not an expert at meeting people? I have outlined 5 steps that will get you closer to meeting Mr. or Mrs. Awesome, right now.

#1: Define what you want

The worst thing people do when they date is they go out without a plan. They have no idea what they’re looking for, so they just select random people based on looks or a feeling, and then expect it to work out.

Before you can meet great people, you need to have a clear understanding of the type of person you are looking for. Is s/he tall? Athletic? Great smile? Sensitive? Loyal? Fun-loving? Wealthy? If you don’t know what you want, then your selections will be based on your lack of clarity.

Now, there are always those people who feel like they know what they want, but the truth is they don’t. How do you know if this is you? Think about your last 3 relationships, and then evaluate the characteristics of each partner. Is there a common thread? If yes, then you probably don’t know what you want. You date the same type over and over again, but the result remains the same.

Time to make a change.

#2: Put yourself out there

Don’t expect to meet great people if you never leave the house. You have to be willing to put yourself out there and dedicate yourself to engaging with people on a fairly regular basis. What does engaging mean?  It means being social. Do you like dancing or sampling wines? Then try a dance class or attend a wine tasting. Great people like to be social.

If you expand your social calendar to things that you enjoy like cooking, hiking or art, you will find other people who enjoy those things too! Find what inspires you beyond the career, and great people will come running your way.

#3: Go it alone

The hardest part about meeting people in a group setting is there is comfort in what you know. You are less inclined to reach outside your comfort zone by engaging new people, so instead of rounding up the posse to try that new hot spot, head out alone.

When you are on your own, two things happen. You either soar like the social butterfly you always thought you were, or you retreat. If your instinct is to retreat, then you will know which areas you need to work on before you meet someone new.

#4: Self-evaluate

The goal of self-evaluation is to determine how you measure up. While it may be great to have an outline of what you are looking for in someone special, the reality is that you must also be a great catch.

Looking for that supermodel, but you’re not the hottest tool in the shed? That might not be a problem for some, but you may face some challenges. Anticipate that. Give yourself a real honest look in the mirror and ask, “Am I really a great catch?” You might look good on paper, but if you have a bad attitude, excess baggage or unrealistic expectations, you will not be considered desirable.

#5: Don’t give up

You may not meet someone on your first, second or even third try, and that’s alright. Nothing worthwhile comes easy. Those who succeed at love learn how to persevere even in the toughest of times, and you must learn how to stick it out too.

You are looking for a life-long partner. Do yourself a favor by removing any personal deadlines, and go with the flow. It will happen when the time is right, and when it does, you will be amazed.

Have some tips we missed? We want to hear from you. Share your thoughts below.




Jasmine Diaz

Dating Strategist & Blogger, VeryUnmarried

Jasmine Diaz is a celebrity matchmaker and dating strategist with over 15 years experience helping singles nationwide. She has been featured in Huffington Post, NY Post, Marie Claire, Men's Fitness, Brides, Refinery 29, Yahoo!, MTV, OWN, Bravo, VH1, ESSENCE, Ebony and Latina Magazines.

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