Every first date brings a certain amount of excitement, and perhaps a recharged outlook on your love life. But never has there been a time when you should be more aware. If you get too caught up in the hype of a new romance, you will likely miss some very obvious red flags.
Below are some of the most common to watch for:
When they say, “I haven’t been on a date in a long time.”
This may not sound like a red flag at the onset, but your date is telling you that they lack dating experience.
There may be valid reasons for someone hasn’t been on a date in a while. Perhaps they were married, invested in their career or were in a long-term relationship. However, you must consider that an inexperienced dater may not have the relationship savvy you may be looking for in a partner.
Someone with limited dating experience may not know how to navigate through what many consider to be “dating norms.” Who pays for the first date? What topics should be off limits? Do you text or call when interested, and how often? Without this know-how, it can cause quite a bit of unnecessary conflict or disappointment.
When they say, “I’m really into (fill in the blank age/race/ethnicity).”
Everyone has a type, but if your date only prefers Asians, older men or (fill in the blank), then perhaps you should consider whether they really like you for who you are, or your stats.
No one wants to be that token-(blank) person they’re only dating because that’s what they’re into. Not only is this incredibly insulting, but it speaks to their limited dating palate. What makes dating great is the experiences you get with meeting different types of people, and it is those experiences that frame the type of partner you become.
When they say, “I don’t want children” or “to get married.”
It means, I don’t want children or want to get married. That does not mean, “I don’t want to get married tomorrow, or have children this year.” LISTEN to what you’re being told and take heed.
I cannot tell you how many times I have met singles who have invested time into a relationship only to realize that their partner did not want the same things. Do yourself a favor and date only those whose relationship goals mirror yours.
When they say,”my ex used to…”
If your date is constantly bringing up their ex-partner or things they used to do as a couple, it’s possible that s/he is not quite over that relationship.
Give them time to explore that situation before you jump in. You may open yourself up to a lot of heartache should they choose to rekindle their relationship.
When they say, “Don’t worry about anything. I will take care of you.”
If someone wants to roll out the red carpet for you, run!
Few people will genuinely take care of you without wanting something in return. Not only is this a sign of insecurity, but it could be a sign of someone who has a possessive trait. They want to have control of your needs, so they will disguise it as generosity or being caring. Be careful not to mistake this as being “sweet,” as it can have dire consequences.
What are some of you red flags? We want to hear from you. Share your thoughts below.