Over 100,000 experts in dating and relationships, and yet every second of the day a heart is broken and a soul is aching from another relationship gone bad. As a result, relationships are getting hopeless press and many are giving up on “real” love, turning emotionally cold, distant and cynical to the mere thought of finding and keeping true love.
Despite having thousands of experts available by the click of a mouse and tons of dating blogs, I am able to entertain 3 -5 new conversations with women each week who are crying their eyes swollen and red, feeling confused as to why they are lost in this game of love. The questions never fail, “why do the relationships start off so great and end so awful?” As an expert and woman who has had a fair share of heartbreaks, I began searching for the answer to make sense of these breakups that are leaving women feeling used and depleted.
The fact is, there is a common theme that starts from the onset of the relationship that I am finding some women are guilty of, including me. Sometimes we are a victim to our own delusion and we want what we want so badly that we ignore the hints, signals and gnawing in the pit of our stomach that I like to refer to as the “Internal Navigation System” (INS).
If you are lost in love and have been for a while, I am going to shoot straight from the hip. I believe you are out of touch and out of sync with your womanly wit and sense of higher self that many refer to as your intuition. Your INS is divine, supernatural wisdom that serves as a traffic cop to keep you out of danger, and to help navigate you toward the best that life has to offer. Each time you ignore the your instincts of your INS–that gut feeling on situations in your life and especially with dating and relationships–you can be sure that you will become lost.
Being lost creates feelings of fear, loneliness, powerlessness and hopelessness. The INS serves the same type of purpose inwardly to help you in your relationships, just like a car GPS serves you outwardly to navigate you to your desired destination and location. When you find yourself in the same situation in your relationship over and over with different people, that is the best indicator that you are regularly ignoring your INS. When you ignore your INS, you are energetically saying that you don’t have self-respect or self-trust. Furthermore, you are saying that you rather be lost and hurting than naturally guided and supported by your natural ability to protect your greatest asset, the asset of YOU!
It is so awesome to be able to serve as a dating and relationship coach, but I am often made aware that many women and men don’t actually need me to coach them. Somehow they knew the answer to their deepest issue was always within them. In sessions, I will hear “Yes, I know Nekisha. Yes, you’re right Nekisha. I felt it, but I ignored it!” The issue is simply being out of sync and harmony with their true self. It is difficult to trust that small voice on the inside that says, “This is not the one. Don’t go with him. He is going to break your heart.” Most times it’s only because we don’t want the opportunity for love to leave, so we ignore the truth and the results are always hurt, anger and feeling lost.
My sister and my brother, hurt and anger is not the place for you to dwell especially if you really want to be loved by that special someone. So the next time you feel that little something in your gut, it’s you trying to protect yourself against someone or something you really don’t need in your life. Trust it. It’s your Internal Navigation System saving you from being lost in love again.