When it comes to making love to someone new for the first time, we all would like to knock our partner’s socks off and leave a good sexual impression. However, sometimes the “first time” can be awkward and lack the fireworks you had once anticipated. I have a few tips for you to help ensure that your first time with your new love is a magical one.
1. Know the status of your relationship. Yes, I know what it’s like to have a burning desire and lustful feelings for the one you’re dating and not wanting to wait another minute to tear their clothes off; but if you’re looking for a commitment, it’s best to not bring sex into the picture until you know exactly where your relationship stands. (Please see “Are You Having Emotionally Safe Sex?” article.) Also, being confident of your relationship and your partner’s feelings for you will make you more relaxed and confident in the bedroom…and that means better sex.
2. Know your partner’s HIV and STI status. When was the last time your partner was tested for HIV and other sexually transmitted infections? What were the results? Do they practice safe sex? Always or is there a “slip-up” every now and again? These are questions you should and have every right to ask with a potential sexual partner? Would you really risk your health just to avoid a simple conversation? If your partner gets upset or offended by your questions, it is safe to say that he or she is not the right partner for you.
3. Have a conversation about sex. Besides discussing the health side of sex, you should also discuss the fun side of sex. What are his turn ons and turn offs? Where does she like to be touched and licked? Discuss what the both of you consider foreplay and what types of foreplay you enjoy. What are her feelings on oral sex? Is he into rough play? It is extremely healthy to have these types of sex talks to familiarize yourself with your partner’s sexual wants and what excites them. One can’t assume that just because the last partner liked something that the next one will. You must learn them sexually as well. (Plus these types of talks are also mental foreplay. Talking about all of the naughty things you want to do to with each other is building the sexual tension and desire between you two, guaranteeing an explosive sexual encounter.)
Also knowing each other’s likes and dislikes in the bedroom will give you that extra confidence and reduce any nervousness you may have about your first sexual encounter. Many are unaware that being nervous can interfere with sexual function including limiting the blood flow to your genitals causing less reliable erections in the man, less lubrication in the woman, weakened orgasms in both, and more. Do what you can to reduce or even eliminate any anxieties or worries about your first time.
Utilizing these three tips will have you on your way to a pleasurable evening with your lover, but be sure to stay tuned for even more tips in Part Two of “Making Your First Time with Your New Love Special” later this week!