14 Rules for PDA

From the Frisky:

It’s been brought to my attention by the couple conspicuously making out on Julie’s subway, the now infamousLollapalooza finger banging pair (pictured above) and the viral video of the week which features a kid in the park standing nearby while his parents [have sex] that some couples don’t know what’s socially acceptable when it comes to PDA.  Actually, it hasn’t just  been brought to my attention. I’ve known this for a long time — since my first job as a hostess at Chili’s when I found two people doing it on booth. My reaction was to start crying. I was 16, so I forgive myself for that reaction. That was 20 years ago, so this compendium has truly been a long time in the making. But — deep breath — I can avoid it no longer. Below are some guidelines for displaying affection in public so that it’s not gross/weird/annoying to others.

Hand Holding:

1. Don’t be so focused on intertwining with each other that you’re inconveniencing everyone around you — I’m talking to you, couples who refuse to unlink their hands on narrow sidewalks. Your love isn’t so all consuming that it should clog a walkway.

Kissing:

2. Pecks on the lips or cheeks are acceptable as long as they are not excessive. Kissing up and down, say, an arm or a neck, would be considered excessive, and also may result in a hickey.

3. Kisses with tongue should last no more than five seconds and should be chaste enough for a PG-rated movie.

Making Out:

4. Kisses with tongue that longer than five seconds and include an exchange of saliva are considered making out. It’s not recommended to do that unless there is no one else around. I extend a pass to couples on a date having their first kiss. L’chaim! But still, try to keep it brief, young lovers.

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