Celebrity Black matchmaker, Jasmine Diaz offers up her relationship advice exclusively on VeryUnmarried.
Let’s be honest, your friends always have the best of intentions, but most of them have no idea what they are talking about when it comes to relationships. If you’ve been single for a long time, perhaps it’s time you consider the “advice” you have been receiving from your friends. That “good advice” might be keeping you on the bench instead of keeping you in the game.
Bad Advice #1
“All men are dogs”
Just because your girlfriend decided to get with a bad boy doesn’t mean that the men you meet will treat you like garbage. Personal dating experiences rarely apply to others, so if you’re heading out on a date, don’t expect anything less than a gentleman–that is until he shows you otherwise.
Bad Advice #2
“If he doesn’t call you the next day, move on!”
With so many conflicting dating rules and dating books, it can be easy for someone truly interested in you to get it wrong. Don’t blame him. Blame all of the relationship experts (self included) for sending mixed messages on the proper return-call protocol. Have you heard of the Three-Day Rule? Who made that crap up anyway?
Life can often get in the way of even the most well-meaning people, so don’t be so quick to cut off someone you met if they fail to call the next day. Give him some time to work up the nerve to call you, because let’s face it: Being rejected is a fear we all have.
If it has been more than a week, you may want to move on to something better. His lack of communication might be a sign of other priorities in his life that may make being in a relationship difficult.
Bad Advice #3
“Ask her out in a text”
If your communication skills are so terrible that you have no choice but to send text messages to get your point across, then perhaps being single is your best decision yet. It’s incredibly impersonal to send text messages as a means to ask someone out. Rather than being a useful tool to you, it will show that you have absolutely no imagination.
Ditch the iPhone and pick up the phone. Dial a number. Talk.
Bad Advice #4
“Don’t let him see you eat too much”
Most men want to be with women who are authentic, and starving yourself by only eating a salad on a date can leave a very bad impression, like: “Does this girl have an eating disorder?” “Is she on a diet?” “She knows she’s hungry. Is she trying to impress me?” You might actually be on a diet or have an eating disorder, but your date need not be privy to that!
Rather than run away from the menu, select items that are delicious but do not have a foul odor (like fish or garlic). Instead of a chicken salad, try the Chicken with Asparagus you have your eye on. He’s taking you out on a date for a reason, so just be yourself!
Bad Advice #5
“If you don’t feel a ‘spark,’ don’t try for a second date”
Sometimes there are circumstances that may make the first date feel less than ideal, but if you think your date was a nice person who had qualities you were looking for in a mate–who perhaps had something missing, take a chance by giving it another try.
First dates come with a lot of pressure. There is a pressure to be perfect and to impress that is so unrealistic to what life would really be like if you were already a couple. Giving him/her another chance to knock you off your feet might be the difference between staying single and meeting the love of your life.
Enjoy articles by Jasmine Diaz? Watch her daily advice show The Daily Very on VeryUnmarried.com Monday, August 5th and submit your questions now: firstname.lastname@example.org and be sure to tweet us @VeryUnmarried with the hashtag #TheDailyVery