Celebrity Black matchmaker, Jasmine Diaz offers up her relationship advice exclusively on VeryUnmarried.
Looking for love can be a daunting task, and sometimes those who are closest to you can make you feel like being #VeryUnmarried means being destitute. Everyone wants to offer their advice on why you’re single and how to change it, but very few of them know what it’s like to be searching for something for so long to no avail.
Certain comments might be easy to brush off, but others may pluck on your nerves like a guitar string. So, what do you do? Well, don’t get mad…get even! Here are a few of the most common comments couples make and a few tips that will help you overcome the attack.
Comment #1: “It happens when you’re not looking.”
The moment you stop focusing on all the things that are missing in your life and remove the expectations that are stopping you from moving forward, love will find you. Instead of looking at the comment as an accusation, use it as a tool for removing barriers in your personal life that are prohibiting you from meeting someone. If your career is causing problems and creating a balance conflict, this would be a great time to fix it.
Comment #2: “You’re too picky.”
Nine times out of ten, you are too picky. If your “perfect catch” is a list of nouns, verbs, and adjectives, you-are-being-too-picky! Take this comment to heart to get to the heart of what you need in order to have a happy and long-term relationship. Ask friends for suggestions on how you can combat this issue and look for honest feedback on how to make a change.
Comment #3: “You’ll find the right person for you.”
The truth of the matter is, the race is not given to the swift, nor to the strong, but to the one who endures to the end. If you can hang in there long enough for the right man or woman to find you, love will happen for you. But if you are impatient with love, you might find yourself in a relationship with someone who truly is not meant for you.
Relationships take hard work and perseverance, and if you can’t make it through the dating phase, you will likely have trouble in the marriage and family phase. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed by the dating process, but when the going gets tough, don’t give up. Keep trying!
Comment #4: “He’s out there.”
I am certain that many of you are just plain tired of hearing this, but it is true. There is someone out there for all of us. If you are someone like me, you are looking for a life partner, and life partners don’t appear overnight. So long as you don’t give up, or worse, settle, s/he will find you.