Celebrity matchmaker, Jasmine Diaz offers up her relationship advice exclusively on VeryUnmarried.
There are several women out there who are making power moves in their professional lives, yet still remain single; searching for their Mr. Right. Perhaps you’ve already met her and you’re not quite sure what to do about the fact that your woman makes more money than you. In either case, we have outlined some tried and true tips that will help you and your love stay above water.
#1 You must be willing to fall back
Many career women have a problem with being dependent (i.e. less independent). Power in the workplace doesn’t always translate well at home. Your man likes and wants to feel needed even if you are the superior wage earner, so let your man know that you value and respect him.
I’m not saying women should only be housewives and mothers, what I am saying is that there is a divine order and there is a way to make him feel like he is the “head of the household” without making him feel inferior.
#2 Stop throwing money in his face
It may be difficult (pride-wise) for your man to cope with the fact that you out earn him, but there is nothing you can do about it. It is part of his chemistry, like it’s a part of ours to want children, so the sooner you understand that the better off you will be.
Never ever gloat about how much more you make and how much less he does. Even to friends. You will only isolate him and drive a wedge in your relationship. Let’s face it, men aren’t women. They are bred to be protectors and supporters of their house. Respect his feelings and I am sure he will respect yours.
#3 Sharing is caring
This is a tough one and should be handled by the most skilled professionals. In marriage, there should be an “us” and “we,” not a “yours” and “mine.” If you’re married to a man who makes less money than you, realize–in theory–that your money is his money.
Now before you yell at me, I get that there are pre-nups and a need to protect one’s own interests. But come on, people get married with the hopes of staying together, so you should not treat “your money” like it’s more valuable than your relationship. If you make money the focus, it will remain the focus throughout the course of your relationship.
My suggestion would be to put some money in a shared account where you can both enjoy it. Talk about your spending habits together so there are no surprises, and let him use it as he needs. Unity in this area of your relationship will help more than it hurts.
#4 Never argue about money
I’ve been married for almost 11 years, and this is one tip my mother shared with me early-on that I have to say has sustained my marriage. Relationships are hard as is, but again, once you make money a focal point, it will remain the focus throughout your relationship. So don’t do it!
You never know what hardships will come your way, but money isn’t difficult. Stick together, talk about it, and you will succeed.
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