Surviving Your First Date After Divorce

Going through a divorce is devastating for everyone involved. In fact, it can leave you so broken and battered that you are hesitant to ever try finding love again. Over time, your heart will begin to heal and when you are ready to try dating again, you might find that new love is exactly what you need to finally move on. If you are getting ready for your first date after a divorce, you will undoubtedly be nervous, but if you can manage to get past the initial stress, you might find that it’s a lot of fun. Here are some tips to help you survive your first date after a divorce.

Ditch Your Expectations

Don’t go into the date expecting things to go a certain way. If you’ve been out of the dating world for a while, you might be surprised that things have changed a lot! The best way to avoid disappointment is to forget your expectations and just kind of roll with it as the date unfolds.

Stay Focused on the Moment

During this first date after a divorce, it might be tempting to get a little melancholy. You might hear a song that reminds you of your ex or you might even have dinner at a restaurant that the two of you used to frequent. It will take some inner courage to avoid a meltdown in these situations. Just try to stay focused on the moment. Tune into what your date is saying and give him or her your full attention. This will help you avoid a train wreck situation where you are crying in the bathroom while your date sits alone at the table.

Be Open to Finding Love Again

While it probably won’t happen on this first date, try to be open to finding love again. Don’t go into your date with a negative attitude or it will sour the entire experience. Instead, be optimistic and make a decision to enjoy your evening. If nothing else, you might make an amazing friend and you will always remember this evening as the first time you took a chance on love again.

Remember That It Gets Easier

If you start feeling overwhelmed or discouraged, don’t give up. Just remember that the first date is always the hardest. If you make it through this first date, the next one will be a little easier. The third date will be even easier than the second. As time passes by, your heart will heal and you might even fall in love again.

[photo by JLP/Jose L. Pelaez/Corbis]

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