When venturing into the dating world, you are bound to meet people who are not exactly who they say they are. Being smart about who you are spending time with is an important lesson for any dater, but if you are already in a relationship, it is equally important to watch for signs that your new love might need to become an old one.
It’s entirely normal for anyone to feel jittery when getting into a committed relationship — heck, you’re saying goodbye to dating and the single life (at least for now). But if you can’t shake the feeling that devoting yourself to just one person might be a big mistake, it might be time to re-think making such an important commitment right now. Below, you’ll find five scenarios where ending your relationship may actually be a good idea… and doing it sooner could spare yourself from heartbreak down the road:
Red Flag #1: You and your partner have differing views on family
If you love having weekly Sunday dinners with your folks while he’d rather spend them at home watching football (or your sweetie would like to have six kids, but you’re not even sure you want one), these issues won’t likely get resolved — or even slightly change — once you’re committed and cohabitating together. In fact, they’re probably going to become more contentious if you get married, says Patrick Schneid, a dating and relationships coach in Washington D.C. “Many couples enter into a relationship with completely different notions about family — including how they relate to their parents and siblings as well as the future family they hope to have with their potential husband or wife,” he explains. “These couples usually assume that everything will work out because they love each other. However, love isn’t always enough to make that relationship a healthy one. You and your partner must essentially be on the same page about the roles you’d like your respective families to play in your own lives as well as the family you envision creating together as a couple. If you’re on different wavelengths when it comes to these issues, I can almost guarantee your marriage will be a rocky one — if it lasts at all.”
Red Flag #2: Your partner has a history of being unfaithful
According to Dr. Terri Orbuch, relationship expert and author of Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship, trust is perhaps the most important and essential aspect of any successful long-term relationship. “When you trust someone, it means that you believe that person tells you the truth, won’t hurt or deceive you, and has your best interests at heart,” she says. “If a betrayal of trust happens, you probably want to take a step back and either end the relationship (or postpone the wedding, if you’re already engaged) so you can see what’s going on with your romance, your partner, or your partner’s inability to be honest and dependable.” Take this time to discover what’s really happening with your beloved and consider whether he or she is sincerely remorseful and apologetic about any questionable behaviors before you commit to being each other’s one and only.
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