GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY!

Celebrity matchmaker, Jasmine Diaz offers up her relationship advice exclusively on VeryUnmarried.

There comes a point in my matchmaker life when I must say enough is enough! I work with all types of clients from various age ranges, income levels, and ethnic groups but my biggest and most difficult client will always be those who refuse to get out of their own way.

I don’t know where each of you stand spiritually, but I like to think of myself as a believer in the Lord. As a Christian, you must be open to change as God often calls His children to do things that make us uncomfortable. The world is always adapting, growing, expanding; but if you are one to resist change, you are one who will be left in the dust as everyone else moves on.

In life you will face fear, rejection, disappointment, unhappiness and everything else in between. Love is no different. If fear or bad experiences have caused you to create a barrier around your heart, you will be alone. FOREVER.  The man or woman who did you wrong will have scored big by causing you to minimize your life based on what he or she has done to you.

This by no way means that you should not learn from those experiences, but you have to put that experience in your back pocket and say, “next time I will watch out for that” and move forward. To shield yourself from letting anyone get close enough to love you only damages your chances of real happiness.

I often say to clients that if you’ve tried everything and haven’t met “the one,” it means it is time to change your parameters. Meaning: What you’ve tried hasn’t worked so let’s try something new. New could mean opening your heart to one of the “good guys” if you usually go for the “bad boy.” Perhaps you avoid younger women at all costs. Someone 2-3 years younger might provide you with something more than the women in your age group.

Change, grow, expand. This is what life is all about, so please stop sabotaging yourself with unfounded notions and ideals. The men and women who often find success at love have learned to adapt. Have you? Just remember that if you expect someone to risk falling for you, you must be willing to take a risk of your own.

Enjoy articles by Jasmine Diaz? Watch her daily advice show The Daily Very on VeryUnmarried.com and submit your questions now: experts@veryunmarried.com and be sure to tweet us @VeryUnmarried with the hashtag #TheDailyVery

Jasmine Diaz

Dating Strategist & Blogger, VeryUnmarried

Jasmine Diaz is a celebrity matchmaker and dating strategist with over 15 years experience helping singles nationwide. She has been featured in Huffington Post, NY Post, Marie Claire, Men’s Fitness, Brides, Refinery 29, Yahoo!, MTV, OWN, Bravo, VH1, ESSENCE, Ebony and Latina Magazines.

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